In Just As Little As 12 Weeks ...
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Demonstrate Emotional Resilience-- manage and process your emotions effectively, overcoming feelings of betrayal, loneliness, and anger to approach relationships from a place of inner strength.
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Communicate with Confidence and Clarity-- express your needs, set healthy boundaries, and engage in meaningful conversations with your partner, family, and peers, ensuring that your voice is heard and respected.
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Build Healthy, Fulfilling Relationships-- identify and cultivate relationships based on mutual respect, trust, and emotional intimacy, breaking free from unhealthy patterns of the past.
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Navigate Conflict with Emotional Intelligence-- handle disagreements and relationship challenges with calmness and empathy, fostering deeper connections while maintaining your sense of self.
People's lives are already being transformed...
"Merge Point Coaching was very enlightening as it helped me to look inward and identify areas of my own thinking and feelings that needed to be validated and given the appropriate time to process... after the session, I was better able to give myself permission to take time to heal and begin to look forward."
Joseph Sissac
Senior Pastor, Educator
"Jeffrey was insightful, enjoyable, and rewarding. The skill with which Jeffery engaged me was better than anything I had experienced in forty years. He drew me into my own thoughts and being. One of the things he said, I hope to never forget was; 'You have figured out how to be yourself, you, just haven’t accepted it yet.'"
Brian K Woodson, Sr
Best Selling Author, Senior Pastor, Activist
My Approach ...
COMMON RELATIONSHIP COACHING SHORTFALLS
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Ignoring Emotional Healing-- most professional men in their 40s-60s struggle deeply with unprocessed emotions from divorce, such as grief, anger, embarrassment, and a sense of failure. When coaches, even well-meaning, push men to “move on” too quickly without addressing these emotional wounds, it prolongs their suffering and prevents genuine healing.

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Rushing the Process-- encouraging men to jump into new relationships before they've had time to reclaim their identity often leads to them repeating old patterns and experiencing even deeper, emotional pain and relationship breakdowns. This cycle can reinforce feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness, and profoundly affect their ability to fully recover and rebuild their lives with confidence and wholeness.
FROM SHORTFALLS TO “MERGE POINTS”
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I founded Merge Point Coaching as a unique approach, incorporating the Structural Alignment method and shaped by my personal journey of healing and transformation after divorce. As a professional, I know the search for self-recovery post-divorce can feel like a maze of “secrets” and “formulas” that rarely speak to what truly drives men like us forward. What I discovered wasn’t in someone else’s story but in my own untapped strengths, “assets within,” or merge points—that powered my way forward.
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With three decades of professional experience helping men "stuck" in soul-diminishing relationships, discover and release the power of their merge points, I've helped men like you harness these same inner assets and accelerate on their unique path to fulfillment. Merge Point Coaching is designed to meet the professional man’s need for clarity and integrity in relationships, not just for personal growth, but to leave a beautiful legacy of healthy impact on their families, communities, and future generations.
That's Why I'm Offering You...
Men's life Coaching (INDIVIDUAL MEN)
Whether your aim is to pull your marriage from the brink of divorce, redefine yourself after divorce, or launch your "next marriage," we'll work to build your capacity to experience and express your wholeness.
✔ Emotional Freedom and Confidence - break free from the emotional pain of divorce, i.e., such as feelings of betrayal, anger, or inadequacy, and rediscover your self-worth, so you can approach life and relationships with renewed confidence and vitality.
✔ Clarity and Direction in Their Lives-- gain clarity about your values, priorities, and goals, enabling you to break free of feeling lost or uncertain about your future, so you can navigate your personal and professional lives with purpose and focus.
✔ Healthy, Fulfilling Relationships-- build deeper, more meaningful relationships—whether romantic, familial, or social— to avoid repeating past mistakes, so you're grounded in emotional intelligence, authenticity, and trust.
"Pre-Marital" CoachinG (individual couples)
Build a foundation to propel your marriage through the period of disillusionment, when infatuation fades, as it will, and couples face the stark realities once ignored, asking themselves, "What in the world have I gotten myself into?"
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✔ Emotional Readiness for Marriage--enter a new marriage with an authentic sense of emotional maturity and self-awareness, having worked through past wounds and learned how to effectively manage emotions and conflicts in healthy, constructive ways.
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✔ Deeper Connection and Communication-- develop the skills to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, fostering deeper emotional intimacy and mutual respect, which are essential for long-term marital success.
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✔ Confidence in Building a Healthy, Lasting Marriage-- feel prepared and empowered to create a balanced, fulfilling marriage, avoiding the pitfalls of previous relationships, and establishing a strong foundation based on trust, shared values, and mutual growth.
*By arrangement, if requested, I officiate weddings, a service I only offer to couples I coach.*
Group Coaching (MEN AND Couples)
Benefit from the unique dynamics of group approach that enhance relationships and sustain progress in both personal and relational development.
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✔ Shared Growth and Support-- men and couples will experience the power of a supportive community, learning from others in similar situations while receiving guidance that fosters both personal and relational growth.
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✔ Improved Relationship Dynamics-- through group discussions and exercises, you will develop deeper insights into relationship dynamics, equipping you with practical tools to enhance communication, trust, and emotional connection in your relationships.
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✔ Accountability for Long-Term Change-- group coaching offers ongoing accountability, ensuring that you stay committed to your personal transformation and relationship goals, ultimately achieving lasting and meaningful change.
Here's How "Merge Point Coaching" Works...
Step 1: Submit Pre-Coaching Assessment
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Submitted online, this form enables me to identify the unique challenges, strengths, goals, and relationship patterns of potential clients, so I can focus and optimize our first conversation, which is the next step.
Step 2: Talk By Phone About Your Needs
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After I receive your Pre-Coaching Assessment, I book you for a free, one-time call. During this 30-45 minute call, we'll talk through the details of what you're looking for in your relationship, relative to your current status, i.e., divorced, married, etc., and place you in the program/series that best fits your needs.
Step 3: Attend Coaching Sessions
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Congrats! At this stage, you've taken the steps to change your life which means you're attending your scheduled coaching sessions, leaving every session with actionable steps, and receiving weekly accountability as well!
Take Your First Step ...
Now You Might Be Wondering... "Who's Jeff Benford?"
My Personal Journey
At 50, my 30-year marriage ended in divorce, and around the same time, I experienced the profound loss of both of my parents. Feelings of grief, shame, failure, and deep loneliness shook the foundation of security and self-worth I had always relied upon. Through this painful journey, I was led to rediscover a greater purpose beyond accomplishments and external validation. I sought the help needed to find my way forward, to rebuild my life on a foundation of mutual respect, shared values, and a deeper spiritual connection that enlivened my heart, soul, mind, and body.
My Professional Expertise
With over 30 years dedicated to helping men grow and heal, I’ve served as a senior pastor, chaplain, college professor, and dean, guiding countless men through struggles similar to mine, drawing on my expertise in spiritual identity formation. My training, including a Master of Divinity, a National Endowment for the Humanities fellowship, doctoral studies at Emory University, and ICF-accredited coaching, equips me to help men ground themselves in purpose, rediscover wholeness, and overcome the damaging effects of toxic masculinity, all while honoring their spiritual foundations.
My Unique Approach
My personal and professional experiences inspired me to develop a coaching approach that goes beyond surface solutions, guiding men to discover and cultivate their own inner strengths—their “assets within.” Through Merge Point Coaching, I help professional men aged 40-60, especially those with spiritual convictions, move beyond the pain of divorce by harnessing their inner resources to create relationships based on respect, connection, and shared spiritual values. This journey isn’t about adopting a one-size-fits-all formula but about reclaiming purpose and spiritual alignment as foundational pillars for life and relationships.
My Vision of Impact
Merge Point Coaching is grounded in a vision of empowered, whole men who impact future generations with the legacy of their transformation. This is not only about personal growth but about inspiring a ripple effect—fostering healthy relationships, upholding spiritual values, and creating an environment of respect for sons, daughters, and communities. My mission is to guide men to move beyond the pain of the past and embody the virtues that create meaningful, lasting change.
Whatever your coaching needs may be, you can be sure that my tried-and-true coaching strategies will lead you and your partner on a journey that is envigorating and enjoyable, that unlocks your collective inner strengths and spiritual foundations, resulting in a relationship marked by purpose, respect, and lasting fulfillment.
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I've structured my coaching programs so that they are easy-to-follow, and packed with practical, immediately usable information that I've spent three decades gathering.